Poetic: The Day I Was Completely Devastated and Perplexed


Read my non-fiction story
It was the 13th day of october 2009.
I sat on the ground, beside a highway.
Thoughts ravaged my little brain.
Everything was in topsy-turvy.
So perplexed and so into unanswerable questions.“God, am I the only one on earth?
Must I carry the whole sorrow of the world on my head?”
Thought blew like whirl wind in and out of my brain.
I was tired and exhausted.

“Haven’t I believed…hell and heaven are real?”

“Am I serving my own punishment here on earth?”

Many questions I directed to God.
I was completely devastated and perplexed. I needed answers, but they aren’t coming.
I saw no reason living on earth.

My eyes worsened the whole drama.
I could still remember that day vividly.
My eye made me believed people actually walked with their heads on the soil and feet towards the sky.
Darkness filled everywhere.
White body coloured people ascended.
Black body coloured men descended.
All this refused to hasten.
Below my feet the black went.

In my sight horrible mountains moved.
Fast, they hastened towards me.
Surprised, they never reached me.
Though Right and left, they moved in speed to and fro.
It was scary such that I reached out for a cry.
But I was so afraid to make a sound.

I became terrified.
No loud cry.
But the tears from my eye boiled my feet.
In its pool, I lied still.
So hot, it made me deaf.
I laid On the soil, like squeezed leaf.

My feet, body and soul boiled from my own tears.
“She’s gone, gone for ever”
I murmured in pain.
I tried to catch up with realities,
But my emotion failed me.
Realities, that I will never on earth set my unclad eyes on her again.
But the more I tried to stop thinking about her,
The more the swift memories of her.

“Mummy, why have you left in your prime”
“What happens to my education?, will you not on earth see me become our number one wish?”
Many a time, had she called me Coded Barrister, Governor, President, C.D.E.F Ogiri.
“Oh! Ever wonderful mom, which of your wish will you now witness”

That day was a day I will never want to recount.
But I just caught myself doing it.
the thought of my education made me die slowly.
“Who will sponsor my education”
Her death was a strike to my ambition.
The least expected.
I was to write my first external exam in a matter of months.
“The jamb form you bought me, of what use is it without you”

The questions became alarming without an answer.
At a point in time, the question came from an external body, using my voice.
Yes! I was silent.
I heard all these and many more questions directed to my mom and her God.
I never felt as if I was the one really asking those question.

In a quite manner, I lied.
My eyes, refused a blink.
My head so stocked to the soil, never a shrink.
Body bathing self, so in tears pool.

What a horrible world.
Very short in prime.
So long in pain.
Envy in gain.
Too complicated and rough.

If after all the hard working stages of life,
Life could be so heartless,
Heartless is the word,
World with weapon of death,
Death so opposite to endurance,
Endurance should be the watch word of life.

Had she not always preached me to be tolerating?
Made me believed, patience pays?
Maybe for the hereafter.

That was the day she wrestled death,
And won in death,
The day, the angels of death were defeated,
A triumphant entry through death
to eternity.
She bade the earth goodbye at her prime. “What then will be of me, at seventeen, looking up to her?”

A nurse she aspired to be.
A hard working and caring nurse she was.
With love, she freelanced her profession.
An immortal made nurse she will forever be.
An encounter with her, and you would have joined those who still testify of her cheerfulness, humility and kindness.

Yesterday, people travelled down here to speak into her presence of her goodness to them.
Not all who had a pierce of her curing syringe and needle,
Will till the end the world, know of her death.
Ideal mom, humble servant and a wife to her children.
That day, I felt I will never meet such a person on earth.
I was afraid of the ‘word’, the earth and all in it.

I lied still.
Listened to the deafening horror sounds emanating from the horrible hasty moving mountain.
I felt, I began to learn a new language.
Boom, boom came the sound.
Tears fought back.

The truth was
life was actually moving out of me.
I tried to maintain balance.
In all those new development.,
It wasn’t easy grasping a grab.
It was a sudden position at the cutting edge of life.

“Have you lost a dear one?
How did you feel?”
At that moment, everything was strange to me.
Moving cars and tall still buildings became horrible moving mountains.
Sounds and cry from sympathisers became horror languages.

After several struggle to attain answers.
I saw something.
It scared me at sight,
Sweat pored out beneath my palms.
My far gone spirit came back whirl to enable me stand up to a run.
But the strength failed a bargain.
The huge statue stood, not moving.
“Is it time for my judgment”
Oh, now I know how it feels to be dead.
“Am I in ‘His’ presence?”
I continued
“Is this how you look, my Lord”
“No, its me Juliet”
The statue spoke out.

Oh, she had stood In sob for who knows how long.
By this time I had began to gain consciousness.
I saw her fall to the ground in weakness.
I felt her hold, it was firm.

A rhyme of patterned sobbing and pant,
I was the bass, she was the twitter.
We sobbed to its fullness, when I started to breath heavily.
Juliet was confused what to do.
She pulled off her wool shirt, not minding the tingling breast.
In her confused state of mind she used her heavy wool shirt to blow breeze of life into my nearly steamed body.

I called out.
Reviving from live coma.
The pronunciation of “Juliet” was not as important and vocal as it is writing here.
It sounded like a question, asked by one who does not want to be heard.
Quieter than a whisper.

Its a Cosmoe belief that a ‘friend is one who have common knowledge of your joy and pain’.
Juliet have been a very good friend, a close friend to me and like a daughter to my mom before that day.
I found comfort in her arms as she continued to blow life into my dry bones.
Better I felt.
Then she spoke
“It is high time, you stood up to realities of life”
She paused.
I waited to hear more.
She was dead silent.
Then I raised my face and saw her weep. Her head was in her hands.
Then I held firm her shoulder.
We were confused,
who lost a mother?
Who is to console who?

“When I heard of what happened, my heart fall to a shock, I left it to the ground, I couldn’t hold back the tear”
She continued while I shed silent tears.
“Then I thought of you, Emy I must be strong for you.
Mom is gone, yes buuuh”
I tried to hold back the pains of her words.
She tried to pretend she was strong, but her cry failed her loud.

I stood up as a strong man, but staggered off from the footpath of the high way.
Came a harsh but angry command.
I didn’t know where it came from, so loud and so cracking.
I’d to stop immediately, to listen again.
“Emma stop”
This time the spirit in the voice got weaker by each word.
“Emma, you have got responsibilities.”
The anger in the voice kept subsidising
“Have you thought of your younger brothers? Double tragedy for them, if God forbid anything happens to you, don’t hurt yourself by remaining weak for them to lean on”

I now recognised the voice without looking back.
It was Juliet.
She stood up and walked to me, held my palm and took me on a walk home.
It was a brief silence all along.
Dust and tears were our companion.
I forced my self to speak with strength.
“If tears could build a stair way and memories were to be lane;
Mom, I will walk straight to heaven to bring you back home.”
I became bold.
looked into the sky, as I spoke
“No farewell words were spoken, no time to say goodbye, you where gone before I woke”
Juliet cried silently.
“Only God knows my heart still aches in sadness, secret tears still flow”
I intended to continue speaking but juliet concluded with
“Rest in peace mom”

All that day was hidden pains and sorrow.
We walked back home in total silence,
In loneliness I was weak,
But energised in friendship.

I left all to the Almighty.

I would be more pleased if you tell me one lesson from the above.
Share your taught about it let others see.

How did you feel, losing a dear one.?

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Posted from WordPress for BlackBerry.


10 responses

  1. I learns how important a mother is to her child, how meaningless is your education and wealth without your mother been alive because she is no more to see either you have achieved the dreams she have been praying for you to achieve, how sorrowful for some one to lost his/her mother, how to know a friend that knows your joy and pains infact i learned a lot. I can say to a writer to keep up what he/she started, it is a very good job and God will grant unto you more wisdom, knowledge and understanding in Jesus name. Thanks.

  2. its the day after my birthday. 😦 oh my.,.. its so emotion. i cant feel you in every word 😦
    Realities, that I will never on earth set my unclad eyes on her again.
    But the more I tried to stop thinking about her,
    The more the swift memories of her.
    waaahh!! its so saddening! you write so well. im so affected by it :((

  3. Wahoo.
    Learnt to catch up with realities always.
    The words, and how u use them, the perfact way u kept me going.

    What is a cosmoe believe.? Love d name

  4. Your story make me weep, even though I did not lose my mom yet…I lost someone so dear to me…someone I loved with all my heart…for the reality to be complete, you have to let go of the past. I DID, the philosophy of life to me is not how many theory you invent to become known, but how many life you affect positively…your memoir is a touch of natured! Bravo!!!

    • Thank you Justus.
      I’d prayed that someday, my writing will heal the mind and provide a reason for a great taught.
      With this memoir, I wish to let all who read it know of the useless usefulness of regret, the need for companionship and the best way to leave a life is to leave the most difficult times to God.

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  6. I’m proud of you..frnd.nice one!! …its just as if u read my mind,me too has lost my boat to earth and the memories of her weakens and saddens my heart but the thought that, we will be together again in the bossom of our lord jesus christ lifts my spirit..I’ ll soon join you here…my brother from another parent(chuckles)